what I do really like is the atmosphere of this picture, cause it shows a strong battle of life or death, although I wonder if fume by itself would be a powerful attack xD what type of scenery did you try to draw? :3
pfff xD your deviation has been in my inbox for like 3months before I commented, so dont feel sorry for taking long to reply xD uhuh! I also considered fume to be the special moveset of Jenna, so it is really sweet ;w;
ahhh, I understand it indeed is very fitting ;w; I was a little disapointed that in dark dawn, you hardly have any towns from the previous games... (and also in the lost age btw, unless you used that special hover boat trick) I would've loved to see some of the old towns and how they have evolved since then ;w;
It's really interesting flipping back and forth between the two versions. Personally, I like both! I do think your re-draw of Chalice is a great improvement in this version. She pops out more, her pose seems more grounded, and I really like that cut in her leg. It's just really well done and a nice detail. ALSO THE BACKGROUND. I really like the revisions you made and I think this approach fits with your style a lot better. Can I just say that Jenna's feet look great? That and her hair whipping around are possibly the best parts of this picture. I really like how you indicated the motion and texture in her hair. Also props for drawing her face from that kind of angle.
By far, what stands out best is the background. It's really detailed and reminiscent of the old Golden Sun puzzles. What I DON'T like is Jenna's pose. she looks like she's doing ballet, on her toes like that. And her fume attack seems to have no power in it's activation. It's truthfully lackluster. Perhaps a backlash of air as Fume was cast? It's a powerfull fire spell, I'd imagine heat mirages as well.
Don't misunderstand. This is constructive, to try to help you see what I think could be better. Many things are excelling, such as the proportions, lighting, shadows and color variation.
Thank you for the detailed feedback! I see what you mean about the fume pillar, but I disagree about Jenna's pose. It's actually modeled after the kickboxing stance for a generic jab, and I'm familiar enough with the fighting style to be comfortable drawing it. I did mean to bloody up her limp arm, though. Forgot I was going to do that, haha. That might take away the ballerina feel. Heck, I might bloody them both up a little if I find some more spare time, haha.
Anyways, thanks again! Constructive criticism is always appreciated, and hard to come by. c:
Ah yes, if her arm is limping from battle then that explains alot.
To me, most magic is an exploding effect of (kinetic) energy. In all my rp's I've always acted it out as requiring a firm stance. A child firing a fume of Jenna's power, in my eyes, would go flying like only Team Rocket has before.
Ofc it's my own opinion in every sense. But I enjoy it alot as a very visual and gritty means of magic casting.
Please mind that calling the fume lackluster had nothing to do with that. That was simply that... The visual effect just doesn't impress me. For one, it's behind Chalis and not in front (awkward placing), and where the fire starts from her palm it just seems too weak.
Hmmm. It's supposed to look like Chalice ducked. I'll have to tweak this one a bit. I usually don't have many problems depicting movement, but I'm also a bit rusty, haha. I do like gritty, powerful magic too, but I always saw her fire as sort of a conjuration. Like the fume always looked like it was a separate being, almost. I wanted the dragon face to be a separate threat.
I will continue to tweak it though. But probably not for an hour or so, as I've just been handed $125 dollars to spend at Macy's. xD